Your Beautiful!

Have you ever sat in a salon chair watching them foil, color or cut your hair? I was coloring my hair tonight looking at myself starting to look like a wet DOG!! Ladies you know what I mean right? The things we do to feel pretty. 

 I work in a salon with all girls, mirrors everywhere and I find my self constantly putting myself down. "So and so looks so pretty today. Ugh her hair is so thick and perfect. How does she get her makeup to look so awesome all the time. Her outfit looks so cute! I wish I had her smile. I want those shoes!" why do we always compare. Why do we always want what others have. Why cant we just be happy and content with ourselves?  

"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are." -Marilyn Monroe

 Well said Marilyn! This quote really struck me tonight. Its so true though! Stop wasting who you are! Learn to love the features you were given. Learn to love Yourself!

"For attractive lips, speak words of kindness. 

For lovely eyes, seek out good in people. 

For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry. 

For beautiful hair, let a child run their fingers through it once a day. 

For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone. 

 People, more then things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, 

reclaimed and redeemed. Remember, if you ever need a helping hand,

you will find one at the end of each of your arms. 

 As you grow older you will discover that you have two hands, 

one for helping yourself and the other for helping others." 

-Sam Levenson

 Always speak kind to yourself. Try to find the good in what we think is the bad. Feeling confident starts with you. It starts at the beginning of everyday. Lets make it positive! You are You! You are Beautiful! 

"The most Beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, know suffering, known struggle, known loss, and found their way out the depths. 

These persons have an appreciation , a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. 

Beautiful people do not just happen." 

-Elisabeth Kubler -Ross

 After I washed out the dye in my hair I decided to take a few pictures of myself. Not the Chauncey that goes to work. Or the Chauncey that you see on Facebook or Instagram. The Chauncey that isn't posted for everyone to see. The Chauncey that I am learning to love. I took a few different pictures. No makeup on. My hair is wet and slick to my head. Then its dry and frizzy. I just wanted to see. REALLY SEE who I am. All natural. 

 

Bitter sweet.

Fourteen months, seven days ago I nursed my sweet baby for the first time.  It was such a sweet moment! I learned nursing would be one of the hardest things I would have to do. "Evie has no sucking skills" my nurse told me. After we tried to get her to latch the very first time she just couldn't quite do it. We both were frustrated,  beyond tired and emotional. So I had to squeeze some milk onto a spoon so she could lick it off! Little did I know her little tiny tummy didn't need even a full spoon full of milk!

The next few weeks felt never ending. I didn't think I could go one more day!  The was pain was almost unbearable! But I didn't want to give up! I kept telling myself it would get better. I didnt know how... but it would get better. I wanted to last at least 3 months... Fourteen months later, here I am laying in bed with Evie sleeping on my tummy. Just finished nursing my sweet baby Evie for the what feels like the last time... my heart is full and empty at the same time. I never knew I could feel this way.

We have come so far Evie!  I remember wanting to give up so many times in those first few weeks.  Thank you for giving me the strength to keep going. The bond that we share is so special to me! I will forever cherish those hours, minutes and sometimes seconds we spent together nursing! There is no other place I would have rather been.  Even those days when all you wanted to do was nurse all. day. long! I wouldn't trade it for anything!  I have loved looking down at your sweet face all these months! The laughs and playful times have been the best! You always have had a thing for my hair. Not just the hair on my head but my eye lashes and even my eye brows you always had to play with one or another! Even though we won't be nursing anymore I will still lay in bed with you and rock you to sleep. I have been so focused on weaning you I have forgotten to wean myself! I will miss putting you to sleep by about the only way we feel comfortable doing. I will miss being able to calm you down when you've had a bad night, when your feelings have been hurt or when you've been physically hurt. We will find a new way! We will bond in a new way. Im sure of it! I promise! Im sad to close this chapter of our life but so excited to see whats next! Mommy loves you Evie girl!

Love,
Mama

4/13/12

It feels like just yesterday when I was rudely awakened by the WORST pain I never knew existed! After 30 long hours of painful, yet amazing labor my Sweet baby finally made her grand appearance. 

You can see the doctors hand while he was handing me Evie for the very first time! I never new I could feel so happy! I cried cause she was here, because I wouldn't ever feel her kick again and because it was over no more pain! I finally got to hold her for the outside.

                                               Daddy holding Evie for the first time!

I never new there was this kind of love out there! 

Im not sure what I did to be so lucky to have the cutest little girl. She completes me! I have been so excited/scared/sad/happy for this day to come. I cant believe one year has already come and gone. Evie is one of the smartest little girls I know. She has the cutest personality! I cant help but smile when she is around! 

So today was her birthday. I now have a one year old! That sounds so crazy! Shes almost not a baby anymore!

We woke up like any other day with Evie playing with my eye brows and eye lashes to try and wake me up. I opened my eyes and there was the priceless smile I wait to see from the second I put her to sleep at night! I finally could tell her HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Daddy came in and she was so excited to see him! "Happy birthday babes!'' he says, a big smile filled her face. Poor daddy was sick all night. So Evie and I went to the store to pick up a few things. We got the balloons for the birthday girl! 

While Evie played I made her her birthday cake! 

Just a cute picture I took! I love her face!

Ate some lunch!

Put up some decorations!

We went to Apple bees to celebrate!

                                                     The Family! Minus a few.

                                                    Evies birthday ice cream sunday!

                                                            Mama and Evie

                                                            Morgan, Evies date!

                                                                         Happy girl!

Grumpy girl! Ready to go home!

                                                               Blowing Kisses

                                                                      Muah!

                                                 Being the birthday girl gets tiring!

                                                       Just roaming around as usual!

                                                           Mama I found your shoe!

Finally Cake time! 

                                                                    Make a wish!

                                                                 didnt even eat cake!

Presents! 

Happy birthday to my girl! I will never be able to put into words how amazing it is to be Evies mom! She's my best friend! My first baby! I have learned so much because of her! I love you baby girl!

Forever my baby

Forever your mommy

I am so in love with my little family!

Birthday boy!

Today goes to my man! 22 years ago he was born! Yes that makes me a cougar! Im proud of it! I've known Anderson since we were 4! Growing up I always heard those stories of people that knew their husbands or boyfriends all their life.  I always wanted that to be me! I never in a million years thought I'd end up with my childhood crush. You see, when I was a little girl I could NOT like a boy that was younger then me! That was just not right!  When our families would get together I always had a crush on him.  He was seriously so cute! He had curly hair, dark skin, beautiful eyes and eyelashes, he was taller then me (not like that's hard to do) and he had thee cutest voice with a little lisp! When we were 5 his family moved to Idaho.  Some how we still managed to connect again. How lucky am I!?

These last 2 years have been a couple of the hardest years in my life but also the best 2 years! If it wasn't for Anderson I don't know where I'd be in life.  He has helped me remember the important things in life. He gave my life a whole new meaning! I feel like the luckiest girl in the world! I get to spend everyday with him! Not to mention how handsome he is! ;)

Happy birthday babe! I'm so glad that I have been lucky enough to spend this day with you! I love you more then you will ever know!

One of those days.

People may think they know us...

No one can really know YOU until they try.

Its a privilege to know someone. 

Life is sacred. 

Its our story to tell ,no one else.

No one has lived a day in our life.

We need to stop assuming, judging and criticizing people.

No one is perfect. Everybody makes mistakes.

The people that accept us for the mistakes we have made

 are the ones that are privileged to be in our life.

Its about who we ARE, not what we have done.

Tonight 1/23/2013

Tonight as I sit in my room on the floor hiding from my daughter so she can fall asleep, I cant help but think of how thankful I am to be a mom! A little over nine months ago my life changed forever! I would have never guessed that someone so tiny could make such a huge impact on my life. When they say the little things matter the most its the truth. 

I know people say when you’re teaching your kids something you have to be consistent. But tonight I just couldn’t help myself. After watching Evie sit in her bed, on her knees, with her face pressed against the netting, her hands by her cheeks just waiting so patiently to see her mommy after a long day of work. I stood up from behind the bed to see her eyes light up when she saw me! We sat on my bed staring at each other holding each other tight. Not saying a word just embracing the moment. I watched her eye lids get heavy, her fingers tangled in my hair not wanting to drift off. She tossed and turned to get comfy in my arms. She slowly drifts into dreamland. I kiss her goodnight, lay her in bed and quietly sneak off. 

Its moments like these that I wish would last forever! 

Its about time!

She did it!! 

I've waited 11 1/2 long months for this day!  She doesn't know what it means.  But I do! 

 It happend today around 4 pm. We just got home from getting her a BIG GIRL CAR-SEAT! That's right my baby has grown out of her infant car-seat. I cant believe it! Anyway, We were sitting on the floor, she was walking around talking gibberish..as usual. Saying "dada, baba" and then she said it!! She said "mama!!" My heart skipped a beat! I couldn't even believe it! Shes never ever said mama! I ran to her and squeezed her tight and gave her a kiss. She has no idea she said it. I've waited my whole life to be called mama! It was such a special moment for me! The best part about it is shes been saying it all day! I'm in love with her all over again!