Fourteen months, seven days ago I nursed my sweet baby for the first time. It was such a sweet moment! I learned nursing would be one of the hardest things I would have to do. "Evie has no sucking skills" my nurse told me. After we tried to get her to latch the very first time she just couldn't quite do it. We both were frustrated, beyond tired and emotional. So I had to squeeze some milk onto a spoon so she could lick it off! Little did I know her little tiny tummy didn't need even a full spoon full of milk!
The next few weeks felt never ending. I didn't think I could go one more day! The was pain was almost unbearable! But I didn't want to give up! I kept telling myself it would get better. I didnt know how... but it would get better. I wanted to last at least 3 months... Fourteen months later, here I am laying in bed with Evie sleeping on my tummy. Just finished nursing my sweet baby Evie for the what feels like the last time... my heart is full and empty at the same time. I never knew I could feel this way.
We have come so far Evie! I remember wanting to give up so many times in those first few weeks. Thank you for giving me the strength to keep going. The bond that we share is so special to me! I will forever cherish those hours, minutes and sometimes seconds we spent together nursing! There is no other place I would have rather been. Even those days when all you wanted to do was nurse all. day. long! I wouldn't trade it for anything! I have loved looking down at your sweet face all these months! The laughs and playful times have been the best! You always have had a thing for my hair. Not just the hair on my head but my eye lashes and even my eye brows you always had to play with one or another! Even though we won't be nursing anymore I will still lay in bed with you and rock you to sleep. I have been so focused on weaning you I have forgotten to wean myself! I will miss putting you to sleep by about the only way we feel comfortable doing. I will miss being able to calm you down when you've had a bad night, when your feelings have been hurt or when you've been physically hurt. We will find a new way! We will bond in a new way. Im sure of it! I promise! Im sad to close this chapter of our life but so excited to see whats next! Mommy loves you Evie girl!
Love,
Mama
